Clan Brujah: Eyewitness Account
Hey there, how's it going?
Look, sorry if I'm bothering you, but I was just... hey, hey, hang on, don't be like that.
Yeah, look, I wouldn't mind the price of a beer... or a bottle if you're feeling generous, but I'm not looking for a handout... well... not exactly.
What do I mean? I mean I'm willing to make a trade. You buy a round or two and I'll tell you a story that might just be worth it. Fair's fair, right?
No, this isn't any 'Nam story or bullshit line. Do I look old enough to have been in 'Nam? Come on, that was over twenty years ago, I wasn't even born yet.
Surprised you, did I? Didn't think I was that young, eh?
Don't worry about it, my personal set of wheels here and general appearance throws most people, I don't take it personal.
But my story will explain a lot of it, if you loosen up your wallet... right on. Yeah, the waiter's right over there... oh, you see him. Good.
Okay, now that he's gone, I can explain a few things. Like how I got my little chrome cadillac here, why I shit through a tube, sorry, and why I'll never play piano again. Oh, you noticed the claw, eh? Yeah, a real mess it was. The doctor's tried their best, but the service is only so good at a free clinic, know what I mean? Making it look kind of like a hand again was the best they could do.
But, I promised you a story, not a lot of bitching, so let me just lubricate the... ahhhhh, that's nice. Okay...
You might not believe it to look at me now, but a year ago or close to it I had a pretty sweet deal going. I was second lieutenant in the East Side Razor's Crew. Worked my way up from trigger-man when I was fourteen. Oh yeah, it was sweet. I'd been in for seven years, seen all kinds of action, even played tag with the cops from time to time. I spent a little time inside, but only on minor felony counts, I was too smart to get tagged on anything major. We had a great time...
Okay, sorry. I can see you're a law-abiding citizen-type. Probably pay your taxes like a good... hey, hey, look. I'm not putting you down, take it easy. Let's just say the system works for some people and not for others and leave it at that. Fair enough.
Anyway, I'll skip the background a get to the good part, deal?
Okay, then let me pour this time...
There. Okay, now... oh yeah...
There were six of us in the car that night. Boedy was driving with his girlfriend Ronna in the front with him and Beater beside her. Me, Jamal, and Titus were in the back seat. We were just cruising around, raising hell and having a good time.
Anyway, we pass this alley and Beater yells for Boedy to stop and back up, says he saw something. So Boedy backs up and we all take a look.
And here's this chick in the alley, leaning against the wall and fumbling through her purse, with stuff dropping out and rolling around on the pavement. She looked completely wasted, but she did it in a really good way, if you know what I mean. She was wearing a long leather jacket and one of those half-shirts that makes you think you're going to see something every time they lift their arms. And from where I was it looked like she had something to see, too. And she had on those real tight pants that are kind of shiny and slick-looking, really showed off her legs, and they were worth it, let me tell you. Anyway, she was digging in her purse and just dropping more crap on the ground every minute, and flipping this long red hair out of her face over and over even though it never stayed. She looked majorly fucked up is my point.
Anyway, Beater says he wants to have some fun, and the rest of us were bored enough to go along with it. Quit looking at me like that, don't tell me you've never just wanted to go get some, and to hell with the usual shit. Am I right, man?
Yeah, from the look in your eyes I can tell I am. Don't sweat it.
So anyway, we all pile out of the car, even Ronna, cause she had this weird kink. She liked to watch us fuck people over. She got off on it or something. So we pile out of the car and head into the alley, making the usual noises, laughing, and generally acting like assholes.
No surprise, eh?
Now I should say right here that we might have been planning something that from a law-abiding viewpoint might seem pretty stupid, but we weren't stupid. We'd heard and seen brothers get set up before and we were keeping our eyes open. But it was a pretty deserted stretch of street, and there wasn't anyone in sight. Plus in that neighborhood even if someone did hear a scream they weren't going to call the cops, it just didn't work like that.
Never mind, man, just take my word for it that there are parts of this city where shit like that happens, okay?
Anyway, Boedy, Jamal and Ronna moved past the chick real quick to cut her off, while me, Beater and Titus cruised up nice and slow. She just kind of looked around at us like she didn't get what was going on, but there was a sign of fear in her eyes that even stoned or whatever she was she could still figure out this wasn't good. It only took us a second to have her boxed in and cut off, and then we moved in. Since Boedy was first lieutenant it was his show even though it'd been Beater's idea, so Boedy starts talking to her, asking her if she's okay and if she needs some help. The rest of us were kind of laughing and carrying on, Beater was giggling so hard I thought he'd piss himself.
So anyway, the girl tries to slide sideways along the wall from Boedy, shaking her head and mumbling something I couldn't hear over the noise we were making. That's where I come in. As second lieutenant it's up to me to be Boedy's main backup, so I got in the chick's way. I reached out with my left hand... yeah, the good one... while pulling my gun out of my pocket with my right.
No, man, I wasn't going to shoot her, just wanted to impress her a little bit. You know, wave it around a little and scare her a bit.
So anyway, I pulled my gun and we closed in a little bit. Titus and Jamal yanked out their guns too, just for effect, and Ronna backed off a bit, getting ready to watch the show.
Thinking back on it now, I guess the chick was just waiting for us to get close enough to her, because in the next second the whole situation turned upside-down.
I said this chick was hot, right? I mean there wasn't a guy there that wasn't getting a bone just looking at her, you know what I mean? So, yeah, she was hot, but in this scared, stoned, kind of vulnerable way. Well that changed.
She kind of straightened up and flipped her hair back, and this time it stayed back. She seemed to get taller and... listen, I know this sounds crazy, but she seemed to get brighter, like she had her own personal spotlight right there in the alley. All of a sudden she didn't look the slightest bit afraid, I think she even smiled.
Right before she smashed Boedy's face in.
I'm not kidding, man, she moved like lightning and hit like a truck. One minute she's just standing there, and the next she's moving past Body for Ronna, and Boedy's on the ground reaching for his smashed and bloody face. I've never seen anyone move so fast.
I guess I just kind of stared at Boedy for a second, trying to figure out what was going on, maybe we all did. Except for Ronna, who the chick was going for. Ronna turned and ran, and let me tell you that she was no fat-ass chick, she was skinny and fast on her feet when she wanted to be. Not that it mattered, she made it maybe five steps before the chick was in front of her. Yeah, in front, it was like she just kind of blurred and then Ronna was cut off. I didn't see what happened exactly, but there was a sound like a baseball bat hitting a side of beef, and Ronna was flying backwards through the air to land beside Boedy, her eyes all bugged out and making this choking noise like she couldn't breathe or something. When she hit she just lay on her back and twitched like a bug pinned to the pavement, making that ugly sound, her hands kind of flapping uselessly and her face turning purple.
I didn't even see what happened to Titus. There was the sound of a shot, like maybe he tried to cap her ass, then the sound of something heavy hitting a dumpster across the alley. When I looked Titus was down, laying in front of the dented dumpster with a weird bend to him, like he'd grown a new joint in the middle of his back. I guess the sound of the shot kind of woke up Beater and Jamal, because Jamal started shooting wild, while Beater was trying to get his piece out of inside his jacket.
The chick was still moving, ducking high and low and just never where you seemed to be aiming just then. Jamal was capping off in every direction, trying to track her and just nail her ass, and I was getting ready to try too, even though it seemed like my brain was in slow motion.
And she dodged in front of Beater.
I don't know whether it was Jamal or me that shot Beater, but one of us capped his ass for sure. Square in the chest, I remember the look of surprise and betrayal on his face, like we'd shot him on purpose. I guess I froze again right there, watching Beater choke once and fall over. I missed the chick move in on Jamal.
When I looked it was because I heard this high-pitched scream like a little girl and the part of me that was still thinking hoped that Jamal had tagged this bitch. But when I looked I saw that she'd grabbed him by the balls, literally man, and lifted him right off his feet. She was grinning like a crazy person, lifting this big dude by his cajones with one hand. Jamal kind of flopped forward, curling over her arm, and even though he was sweating and crying he managed to plant his gun square on her chest and let off a round. Man, I saw that bullet come out her back and hit the pavement, but she just kind of twitched and didn't even lose her grin. The next second I heard this sound like drum-roll as her arm blurred and Jamal shook like he was having convulsions. I swear she punched him like ten times in the face in less than a second. Then she just dropped him like dead meat and turned on me.
Now listen to me, man. I know I shot her, I shot her about three times before she got to me, and I saw every one hit, I'm not lying.
Hey, aren't you going to drink that? This is the best part of the story.
So, anyway, I shot her. It didn't even slow her down. In fact I think it just made her mad.
She grabbed me by my right hand here and I felt my bones squeak before they broke, then the gun broke too and my hand and the gun kind of became one. I guess her other hand was on my neck, and her eyes seemed to turn red as she hissed at me.
Like a cat? Yeah, I guess so, although no cat ever pulled a face like this one. It was like the worst nightmare I'd ever had. I'm not ashamed to admit that I pissed myself right there, it was that scary. It was right then that she slammed me back against the wall. Here, take a look at this. No, I'm not going to pull my pants down, but check out this scar.
Big bitch, isn't it?
That's where the pipe that was sticking out of the wall got jammed through my spine and out my gut. I lost the feeling in my legs right away, but the rest of me hurt so bad I couldn't breather or scream.
I passed out a few seconds later, but not before I saw the chick turn around and bend down over Ronna. I tell you man, she had fangs.
No bullshit, I saw them when she hissed at me, and the last thing I saw before I passed out was her biting into Ronna. She lifted her up like a doll and just chowed down on her neck. I'm not kidding, man, and I wasn't delirious. That sight is going to live in my dreams for the rest of my life.
So anyway, a few hours later I wake up in the hospital like this; paralyzed, no hand, with my guts all fucked up, and short a few quarts if you know what I mean.
They said I was lucky to be alive, that I was the only one that made it. They called it a gang hit, and I learned pretty quick that if I didn't want to wind up in the nut-house I'd better stop trying to tell them what really happened.
Yeah, you're not kidding, man - I should have been dead. I guess I was just lucky.
What? What the fuck, man? What do you mean she should have killed me? She damn near did.
Hey, what's wrong with your eyes?
Hey, let go of my arm...
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